I was bemused to see a story in the paper last week which claimed that scientists have announced a mathematical formula to increase the chances of a long and happy marriage by a fifth. According to the Geneva School of Business, a bride should be five years younger than her groom, should come from the same cultural background, and be the more intelligent of the pair if couples are to have a successful marriage.
Now I’m sure that you know many happily married couples who challenge this theory, and many unhappy ones that match the criteria above and still didn’t work out! I really do think that it is a little too easy to suggest that these factors will contribute to a happy and successful relationship as first and foremost, it is about the attitudes and feelings of the individuals involved.
The woman may have the right age difference, she may have a degree when he doesn’t and be of the same cultural background, but if she is feeling like she isn’t emotionally supported by her husband, if she feels like she has to compete with younger models at work to gain recognition and if she is feeling like she doesn’t really know who she is anymore after years of being just ‘a mum’, then its highly likely that her relationship is going to suffer as result.
I’ve found that many women on the Age With Attitude programme have seen it as much needed ‘Me Time’. Often in life, women tend to become quite invisible when it comes to their own needs, when juggling family and work, and so this programme gives them the opportunity to find out who they really are again.
There are several key attitudes to being successful in midlife that are particularly relevant to this story and these include ‘I am true to myself’, ‘ I know who I am’ and ‘I like myself’ and I think it is variables like these that will affect the likelihood of a long and successful relationship.
I believe that its only when you are happy with yourself and like who you are, can you even begin to look at what makes a happy relationship.
Tags: Age with Attitude, children, confidence, courses for over 50s, courses for women, depression, divorce, family time, life coaching, lindsey agness, marriage, midlife, personal development, relationships, separation, stress, working mother
